Filler Malas

1.Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

2.If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?

3.If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

4.Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

5.If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

6.If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

7.Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?'

8.I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

Maka dengan selamba aku jadi pelumba kereta a.k.a racist!

What Makes A Malaysian A Malaysian

1. You can name all the players from the the English Premier League, but ask you to name one football player from Malaysia , one name also cannot come out.

2. When StreamyX come, you complain StreamyX too slow. When Maxis Broadband come, you complain Maxis Broadband always disconnects. When WiMax come, you complain Wimax too expensive. In the end, you say StreamyX still the best lah.

3. When toll price increase, you complain. When petrol price increase, you complain. When you go Starbucks buy RM10 coffee, NO COMPLAINTS.

4. When you cannot find parking in a shopping mall and have to walk very far, you complain. When you go inside the shopping mall and there's SALE , run from one end of 1Utama to the other also NO COMPLAINTS.

5. You are always late. And the excuse you give when you're late is always either: (a) traffic jam (b) no transport or (c) cannot find parking.

6. You have a parent who force you to take science stream in high school, study engineering in Uni, then when you graduate, they ask you to forget everything you learnt in Uni and do commerce.

7. You know someone who can specially develop an angmoh accent when speaking to a American / British / Australian.

8. You complain against the government in kopitiam, you talk loud loud. Leave anonymous comments on blogs, you also talk loud loud. Attend ceremah by DAP, you shout loud loud. Then when Opposition organise a protest and ask you to go, you dun wan. Scared later kena tangkap by ISA.

9. Every year on the 30th April, you are one of the people below queueing up last minute to submit your tax return at the IRB.

10. When you pay RM10 for something that costs RM1, you blame the Chinese.

11. When a government service is too slow, you blame the Malays.

12. When a building is not good and collapsed, you blame the Indians.

13. When a Chinese student won a scholarship, you say 'Wah! Very clever hor?'

14. When a Malay student won a scholarship, you say 'Aiya! Of course lah! He Malay mah!'

15. When an angmoh stranger kiss you on the cheek to say hello, you very happy. When a Malaysian guy kiss you on the cheek to say hello, you slap him.